Blackout

I am a huge fan of alcohol and that's all there is too it. I enjoy the freedom of not giving a fuck for a few hours, because that's all I do all day every day and I just need to escape. But lately I am not gaining tolerance to alcohol and if anything I am becoming less tolerant. I drink a fair amount but the side effects are such that I blackout for half an evening. That's several occasions of hours of my life where I don't know what the hell I was doing. And this scares and shames me.